Tips + Tricks

We all know how complicated and confusing wedding "do's and dont's" can be especially when it comes to invitations.  Below are a few things I have come across that hopefully will be able to make your process a little more enjoyable!  Cheers!


Addressing Invitations

  • Traditional Married Couple
    • Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Aster
  • Married couple with hyphenated last name
    • Mr. Johnathan Aster and Mrs. Julia Bates-Aster
  • Couple with different last names (list the person whom you're closest with, or alphabetically)
    • Mr. Jonathan Aster and Mrs. Julia Bates
  • Unmarried couple living together
    • Mr. Jonathan Aster and Ms. Julia Bates
  • Single Female
    • Ms. Julia Bates
  • Single Female (under 18)
    • Miss Julia Bates
  • Those with distinguished titles
    • Dr. Julia Bates and Mr. Jonathan Aster
    • The Doctors Aster
  • To Families
    • Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Aster and family


  • When should we send our wedding invitations?
    • Traditionally 6-8 weeks before the wedding.  If it is a destination wedding or the majority of your guests will be traveling in, send out at least 3 months in advance to give adequate time to make arrangements.  Even though you send your save the date out in advance, your Great Aunt Susan is not going to make arrangements until the actual invitation is in her hands.
  • When should we send save the dates?
    • 6-8 months in advance.
  • When should we make the deadlines for our RSVPs?
    • Make your RSVP date 2-3 weeks prior to the wedding day.
    • Don't forget to include the RSVP envelope with a stamp.
  • Where do we include information about our wedding website?
    • Both your save the date and with your formal invitations.  A simple is sufficient to include with your save the date. However, the website is not to be included on the formal invitation, include an insert with the web address within the invitation envelope.
  • Can we include wedding registry information in our invitations or save the dates?
    • No.  Tradition states do not include it on your invitation or your save the dates, you want your guests there because you love them not because you want a red wine goblet.  Since many couples are now putting together wedding websites, add it on there.
  • We are having an adults only wedding, how can we make sure this is clear to our guests?
    • Address the envelopes accordingly, guests should understand that the invitation is meant for those only mentioned.  No children? Don't list them.  In reality, the signal can get lost in translation.  The wedding website is another great place to note that it is an adult only occasion.
    • Advice- word it nicely.  This can be very sensitive for some families and can cost an additional price to get a sitter.  It is also nice to call those loved ones in advance to gently inform them on your decision.
  • Do we have to invite every guest with a date or a "plus one"?
    • No, you do not have to.  If your guest isn't married or in a serious relationship it is perfectly acceptable to invite them solo.
  • How many dang pieces of paper do I need to include in this invitation?
    • You NEED to include the invitation and the RSVP card.  You CAN include a variety of other items (below) but remember you can save a few extra dollars by adding this additional information on your wedding website:
      • Maps
      • Schedule of Events
      • Accommodations
      • Reception Card
      • Etc...
  • How do we let people know our dress code?
    • There are a few ways to cue guests in your chosen dress code.  Simply add it to your wedding website, or for a more formal approach add it on a separate card with the invitation.  If you want everyone to wear zebra or leopard print, do not include that anywhere and reconsider your decision.
  • Where do you add the return address?
    • On the back flap of the envelope.  The return address should be that of the person designated to receive the response cards.  Traditionally, the person/people hosting the wedding are those who take care of the response cards.  Remember, those mailing gifts will be sending them to the return address as well.


  • Thank you cards
  • Stamps (for return envelopes too!)
  • Weigh a sample invitation


  • Ask about hand canceling your invitations at the post office!  This involves a stamp that says your mail is processed (instead of running your invites through the processing machine like regular mail, which could bend or even ruin them). While hand-canceling is free, check with your local post office first to make sure that it has the hand stamp.